Have you ever had a moment in your life when you knew that you shouldn’t do something but you did it anyway? You knew that you shouldn’t have gone somewhere because down deep in your heart of hearts, it would turn out badly but you squelched that voice down?
The little voice of your intuition can sometimes scream pretty loudly and, yet, it’ll still be dismissed. Perhaps it’s a distrust of what you’re hearing it say. Maybe you don’t want to believe it because how could what you’re wanting to do be that bad, right?
Before I started Healing Effects Tarot in 2014 and even way back in 2009 when I wanted to take reading Tarot seriously, I had a moment in my life where I told that voice to shut up. Not just once, not even twice, but a number of times I can’t tell you because it was so many. Turns out, I should have listened. However, I don’t regret the learning experience or the people I met by being the rebel that I am. Sometimes being a rebel works out for me and, other times, it ends up in heartbreak.
And that’s what happened. The last four years were not ideal. I was depressed, extremely reclusive, and wasn’t happy. I didn’t smile very much.
I got to the point where I’d wait till I knew it was slow at a Dollar Store in the town where I was living before I’d even attempt to go shopping. I didn’t want to see people and I sure didn’t want them to see me.
Kind of figure where this is going?
I fell in love and my mind kept telling me to stay the hell away but my heart saw something else and I chose to follow that. It was my decision to shut that voice down in my head that told me not to go back after the first time we broke up because of him cheating. In less than 12 hours, I had everything packed up in my little blue car and hightailed it out of his apartment and Kentucky. I had a rule with myself that if I was ever cheated on, I would have nothing more to do with that person. And I broke that rule – like a dolt.
My voice said yes to his wanting me back and marriage proposal a few months after that while my intuition was screaming at me to run the other way and never look back.
Well, I did finally listen to that voice but it was about 9 years later. I did love him and probably a part of me still does but I can see what that voice was telling me. And, it took years for me to listen but I can be super hard headed.
I had not only dismissed my intuition but my own standards and, through that entire experience, I’ve relearned why I made those promises with myself and to never compromise them again. I hate cutting people out of my life and I don’t wish ill on people that hurt me. With that said, I’m not going to talk bad about him – he’s got his own life path and I wish him the best and I hope that he finds what he’s looking for out there. I have recently taken him off my FaceBook and I have no desire to ever see or talk to him again. That’s not because I deem him a bad person but he is bad to have in my life.
As human beings, we have a set of morals that each of us have that fall back to those two things – intuition and setting standards (or boundaries). If we stray from what we really stand for and desire of this life to try and do what is expected of us rather than what makes us happy, I feel that we’re setting ourselves up for failure.
Your intuition is there to guide you and is referred to as ‘listening to your gut’. You’ll notice those spidey senses going off and your body telling when something is off. Of course, I can’t tell you how to live your life. I will say that, from my own mishaps, it would be wise to listen at those times where your gut is telling you something and take them into account and note them.
As far as setting your boundaries goes and having those standards, you have those for a reason. I believe one of the mistakes I made was trying too hard to please someone else at the expense of my own happiness and joy.
Big, bad mistake. I am human, though, and I’ve made mistakes and I’m sure I’ll make a few more by the time I leave this plane of existence.
We broke our relationship off at his request back in July of 2016 and it hurt at the time. I cried and tried to wrap my head around everything. I did have the strength to make a promise to myself and I kept that one. I vowed that I was going to spend time with me and figuring out what I want and how I’d like my life to look.
Over the past 10 months, I’ve had time to reflect and readjust my mindset back to what it should be. I’ve worked on my inner self so I could build that foundation from within – a solid foundation. I’ve learned to better trust my intuition and set my boundaries as well as standards again. What I want to do with my life is to help people overcome the obstacles in their lives because I know how hard it is when you feel alone and not sure where the hell to go.
If I can help one person regain their bearings, it makes me feel so grateful and honored beyond words.
Wishing you blessings and thank you for reading a part of my journey. If this has helped you, I’d love to hear from you.
Love and Light Always,